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午前4時の想像

Imagining at 4AM

Nothing has been lost yet — checking for warmth before sleep will come.

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Lyrics

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Original

隣の呼吸を 数えながら

いつか止まる日を 考えてる

病気とか 事故とか 心変わりとか

起きてないことに 怯えてる

 

今がいいほど

先が こわくなる

 

午前4時の想像だけが

やけに 具体的で 困る

午前4時 隣で眠ってるのに

いなくなる日を 見てしまう

Not yet, not yet, まだ何も

失くしてなんて いないのに

 

先に死ぬのは どっちだろう

残されるのは たぶん 私だ

そんなことばかり 上手になって

朝には 忘れたふりをする

 

まだ何も 起きてない

それだけが 救いで

 

午前4時の想像だけが

やけに 具体的で 困る

午前4時 隣で眠ってるのに

いなくなる日を 見てしまう

Not yet, not yet, まだ何も

失くしてなんて いないのに

 

毛布の下で 指先を探す

起こさないように そっと触れる

体温がある それを確かめて

やっと 少しだけ 眠くなる

確かめないと

眠れない夜がある

 

午前4時の想像だけが

やけに 具体的で 困る

午前4時 隣で眠ってるのに

いなくなる日を 見てしまう

Not yet, not yet, まだ何も

失くしてなんて いないのに

 

永遠じゃないって 知ってて

それでも 隣にいる

終わりがあるから

今夜が 濃くなるのかな

 

午前4時の想像だけが

やけに 具体的で 困る

午前4時 隣で眠ってるのに

いなくなる日を 見てしまう

Not yet, not yet, まだ何も

失くしてなんて いないのに

 

午前4時の想像を

朝までに 消しておく

English translation

Counting the breaths beside me

I think about the day they'll stop

illness, accidents, a change of heart

afraid of things that haven't happened

 

the better now is

the more the future frightens me

 

Only the 4 AM imaginings

are far too vivid, and it troubles me

4 AM — you're asleep right here

and still I see the day you're gone

Not yet, not yet — I haven't

lost anything at all

 

Which of us will die first, I wonder

the one left behind is probably me

I only get better at thoughts like these

and by morning I pretend I forgot

 

nothing has happened yet

that alone is the mercy

 

Only the 4 AM imaginings

are far too vivid, and it troubles me

4 AM — you're asleep right here

and still I see the day you're gone

Not yet, not yet — I haven't

lost anything at all

 

Under the blanket I search for your fingertips

touching softly so you won't wake

there's warmth there — once I've confirmed it

at last I get a little sleepy

there are nights I can't sleep

without checking first

 

Only the 4 AM imaginings

are far too vivid, and it troubles me

4 AM — you're asleep right here

and still I see the day you're gone

Not yet, not yet — I haven't

lost anything at all

 

I know this isn't forever

and I stay beside you anyway

maybe it's because it ends

that tonight runs this deep

 

Only the 4 AM imaginings

are far too vivid, and it troubles me

4 AM — you're asleep right here

and still I see the day you're gone

Not yet, not yet — I haven't

lost anything at all

 

These 4 AM imaginings —

I'll erase them before morning